TOP 12 REASONS I VOTED
FOR A DEMOCRAT
1. I voted for a Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.
2. I voted for a Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
3. I voted for a Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
1. I voted for a Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.
2. I voted for a Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
3. I voted for a Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
4. I voted for a Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers, rapists, thugs, and thieves.
5. I voted for a Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will disappear in ten years because of Global Warming if I don’t start driving a Prius or a Chevy Volt.
6. I voted for a Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
7. I voted for a Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.
8. I voted for a Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
9. I voted for a Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution regularly to suit some fringe folks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
10. I voted for a Democrat because I think that it’s better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill for our own because it might upset some useless endangered beetle, gopher, or fish.
11. I voted for a Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised “HOPE AND CHANGE.”
12. I voted for a Democrat because my head is so firmly buried in the sand that it’s unlikely t
that I’ll ever have another point of view.
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How to be a good Liberal – A guide for the rest of us
Virtually anyone can be a Liberal. Simply quit thinking and vote that way. However, to be a Top Notch Liberal, there are some prerequisites. Compare below and see how you rate:
1. You must believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
2. You must believe the same teacher who cannot teach 4th graders to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
3. You must believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese Communists.
4. You must believe there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You must believe global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
6. You must believe gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You must be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
8. You must believe businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
9. You must believe hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.
10. You must believe self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You must believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars where military personnel, not corrupt politicians, die.
12. You must believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You must believe taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You must believe Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee, or Thomas Edison.
15. You must believe standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
16. You must believe Michelle Obama is really a lady.
17. You must believe the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You must believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
19. You must believe homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be institutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You must believe "HOPE AND CHANGE" has really worked
21. You must believe that if given 4 more years America will survive
22. You must believe illegal Democratic Party funding by the Iranian Islamists is somehow in the best interest of the United States , and legal contributions by American businesses are not.
23. You must believe that a crime is committed only if the perpetrator is caught.
24. You must believe that you can get out of debt by spending your self into oblivion and making horrendous business investments.
